the troll twins

okay okay, so they weren't really twins, but it sounded good when i thought it.

two new guildies joined today. shaniqua and shull. i've known shaniqua for a while, and toured through a few places with her before. it's always been a delight, so when i found out she was in our guild i was thrilled. i gleefully hitched my orc axe to her wagon and followed into the hills to murder some centaurs again in search of goodies. unfortunately, i hexed that quest up good by not carrying the quest key i really needed.

what a dullorc.

shaniqua and shull were very understanding, though. i'm sure in their heads they were rolling their eyes and saying "stupid male." but there you go. they were nice enough not to say it aloud.

from there we jogged off to kill some ogres. i love killing ogres as you know. they make a delightful thump. we rampaged through the ogre lair and quickly chopped them to pieces. revelling in our superness, we decided to hit some dwarves in their little hole in the mountain.

that's pretty much when things started to get a bit hairy, and i'm not talking about me because i'm not hairy in the slightest.

as you can see, we make a rather pretty trio. well. two of us are. okay, there's four including the cat, so that's three pretty ones and one decidedly dopey looking green one. still - i AM green and there's no arguing with my axe.

the dwarves, however, decided to try.

we slammed them. absolutely slammed them.

then got overrun by a couple.

and died.

we ran back to our corpses to find everything had respawned.

ick.

we got overrun.

and died.

you see, we'd been drawn to a twilight zone of dwarfy terror as the respawn rate here was insane. climbing deeper into the dungeon, our health and mana potions dwindling along with our armour, we slashed, hacked, and fireballed our way into the bowels in search of some demonic little runt of a dwarf surrounded by perverted little holy priests in dire need of having their stupid dwarfy heads cut off.

which i did my best to do. sleepy, fussy, angry, respawny - no matter their cute little names i chopped them and fed them to shull's cat as best i could inbetween dying.

if it hadn't been for shaniqua's gorgeous sheep spell, we would have died so many more times. she also made me some of the most insanely cool potions i've seen - not being one to see many potions. in fact, the last cool potions i ever saw were hers, too! and shull's huntress skills were doing their best to keep me alive too. i was so many times on the edge of death when her cat would leap in and save my orcy hide.

in the end we slurped up the main boss with an ease that bordered on the ridiculous and settled down to go through his pants in search of stuff.

and found 31 copper pieces and that was it.

totally devastated, i sat in a chair to sulk, as you can see. shull announced bed - obviously not celebratory so i added no stupid male jokes and instead chose to climb wearily to my feet and begin the slow fight out - whining to shaniqua all the way about how i really thought we could hearth out now.

shaniqua scored a brilliant little staff for herself and on the final kill, shull fluked an awesome bow she was running about with waving in the air and squealing like a baby magpie about. i don't quite know what i got out of it other than a few more deaths and a joyous amount of killing beside two very nice trolls.

all in all - a highly successful and enjoyable evening. i hope they do more stuff to me.

i mean, with me.