have axe now what?

so, i got this axe, right. and i want to hit stuff with it.

there's plenty of stuff to hit with it.

i went out to some mining place and thwacked some goblins with it. one of them was supposed to drop some gemstone or something, but after an hour of them dropping like flies and respawning and dropping like flies, i still hadn't got a gemstone. in any case, i had my axe.

so what to do with it?

well. that's where i really really don't like blizzard anymore.

i'm one of those gamers - umm, what do you call us? oh yeah! lazy.

i'm lazy.

i never play a mage on a game which is paced like a fps. i just don't like all that switching between spells and getting hammered just because i can't remember what i hotkeyed my fireball to and i've just run out of my icy blasts. so, i never played a mage on diablo. well, i think i did on the sequel, but that's just because she was a sorceress who looked pretty mighty in those short outfits.

damn. now i really do sound like one of those nerd perverts.

trust me, i never bought a tomb raider game in my life.

anyway.

basically, i don't do mages. my first real mage was in nwn. but in oblivion, i just play stealth assassin. and in ddo, i'm playing a rogue. i'm a simple guy. mostly i play warriors. i mean, what's more fun? sitting there sifting through your inventory and spellbooks and hotkeys, or wading in and smashing?

wading in and smashing, of course! so what's wrong with the warrior in wow, you ask? well, they turned him into a mage. either that, or someone played too much mortal kombat as a kid.

i now have to sift through my stupid hotkeys and click away like a maniac on different buttons just to stay alive and do damage. i mean, ridiculous! i want to clobber! that's what warriors do! they clobber! they don't sit there thinking about clobbering and how to clobber, they just clobber!

wham! bam! thank you for coming - and is this a bit of your skull you left on my shirt?

that's what warriors should be.

maybe they thought that was boring? but, if you didn't make it that you had to hit each creature twenty times before they died, it wouldn't be!

i'm sure blizzard are the same guys who made diablo. aren't they?

in any case. bored.

i hate that i click on something and then have to wait an hour to do it again, by which time i'm already halfway to dead and my base attack is doing shit. which it shouldn't be because look at that frikken monster of an axe! that should be cleaving through their skull and swiping that smirk off their faces, or at least splitting it in two.

that's something else i hate. i hate that i can run around with a big bloody axe that looks like that and some pansy can be running about with a single little sword (knitting needle), and a shield and not only will he be dishing out almost as much pain, but he'll have three times my frikken armour! man, that's so wrong.

an axe like this should be a one hit kill and that's all there is to it. three if it's one of those big oversized chunky lizard dragons or something.

i mean, really.

if you can't tell, i love axes and despise shields. they're so boring and ugly to look at. yep, shields are for wusses.